Tags: making manifest

Thrihyrne's thistle by eccequambonum

Self-awareness waves

Today's being really phenomenal. I attended the Sanctuary alumni call/video chat this morning and it was incredibly intimate in terms of participants (3, then a 4th showed up 45 minutes into the hour long time) and also in terms of ground we covered aloud during our talk. I felt as though I had a year's worth of counseling/therapy insights shared with me in under an hour! I'm going to write up some of the topics we discussed, as well as a slew of visual imagery and analogies that came to me. Great discussions about our shadow selves, respecting those self-defense processes and patterns that kept us alive even though we don't use them now, and specifics of how to be mindful. What a gift.

Analogies and insights kept coming while Evan and I went and ran some errands, including a new understanding that in addition to this year being that in which I am a Burgeoning Indomitable Leader, 2019 is also the Year I Don't Justify My Actions. Since December I've been living authentically and not harming myself and others, no small feat for someone out of practice. I feel I can trust my decision making at this time, which also means there's no innate fear of having done something wrong. Or feeling that I'll get caught out on something I felt was wrong at the time but did it anyway, hoping I could get away with it. Without that baggage, there's no need to rationalize or justify. It's giving me a lot more bandwidth to focus my energies on work and my creative outputs.

Speaking of, I'm on hiatus from the third Reggie/Kelp. I've had an outpouring of textile images and projects come to me in recent weeks, so I'm finishing up a knitting project for one of my nieces and then will commence on several other knitting projects. That's what's been coming at me, so that's what I'm throwing my time and energies into. I'm sure I'll cycle back around to writing when that's what feels right. Trusting those instincts is also a gift.

As Evan said to me this morning, "You sound like you're in your dharma!" ☸

So much gratitude!! ☺

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