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Here, and cycling up out of a spiral

Thrihyrne's thistle by eccequambonum
My role at work is very stressful, and several of my colleagues and I have major morale demoralization and feel utterly trapped. We apply for other positions and are told, "You're too important to Resolutions." Ergo, it's becoming a dead end position. I had a whirlwind of interviews for a new position last week but in the end needed to gracefully withdraw as it was blatantly obvious that this position needed to be done from HQ. And, um, no- though I was asked multiple times, Evan and I are not and never will be relocating to San Francisco. But the past two months have had my share of making poor decisions, which has led to sick time at work, additional stress as I detox, and the pain of seeing Evan suffer. I tend not to remember much during those times, but he does. Still, these occurrences have been far less frequent than ever in the past seven years. The support Evan gives while always acknowledging that I'm an autonomous human being and free to make all of my own decisions— just also acknowledging that at some point if those decisions continue to wreak havoc, that there would be consequences as he has very healthy boundaries— is tremendous and has helped keep me from the worst of situations. But I've needed to make a new commitment to putting the decision to stay in my right mind and make wise decisions for months on end (with help, of course) as primary. I'll ruin the rest if I don't do that and get back to the even-keeled body chemistry I had going earlier this year.

In other more light-hearted news, well, I'm back on the right track. I've also been truly gifted by the universe via friends, several of whom have sent links to other job possibilities all in a cluster. I do have another interview for a different team tomorrow at my current employer (which I'm not naming because I know we have a social media team and I'd rather them not find my LJ), and I'll hope that I can move over to that group. I'll also try to post a little more often than twice a month. :P

This entry was originally posted at http://thrihyrne.dreamwidth.org/512700.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
jaiden_s
Oct. 20th, 2013 11:16 pm (UTC)
Take care of yourself. :)
thrihyrne
Oct. 21st, 2013 02:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Will do. ♥
febobe
Oct. 21st, 2013 01:53 am (UTC)
*hugs & prayers*

Love ya, darlin'. Hang in there and stay healthy. <3
thrihyrne
Oct. 21st, 2013 02:04 pm (UTC)
(((hugs and love))) back at you! I'm aiming for health and the middle path. :)
mrsquizzical
Oct. 21st, 2013 03:19 am (UTC)
onward and upward, dear heart.
thrihyrne
Oct. 21st, 2013 02:04 pm (UTC)
I so appreciate your support and kind thoughts. ♥
winnett
Oct. 21st, 2013 04:04 am (UTC)
Hang in there and keep struggling.

Though the work situation utterly sucks. You're too valuable so we can't let you go. So, who has been promoted out of there? Emulate them.
thrihyrne
Oct. 21st, 2013 02:07 pm (UTC)
I'm working toward a place of peace and lessened anger/anxiety/stress that always helps with there not being nearly so much struggle.

As for promotions, what has made all of this even more clear to me is that no-one has. In the 15 months I've been @thiscompany, only one person out of the entire Customer Support team has been promoted to the highest level other than lead. On my team, no-one has been promoted. To anything. Some have left for lateral moves. This is what I find really awful. :(
llembas
Nov. 2nd, 2013 02:57 am (UTC)
Sorry to hear you've had a rough time recently.

Knowing you'll never be able to move up in a company because you're too important where you are just SUCKS. That's how it was when I worked at Lexis Nexis and that's also what we were told at the Girl Scouts. Which is just frustrating and upsetting and makes you feel bad.

*hugs*
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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